Return To Tomorrow by Jason Ayres

Author:Jason Ayres [Ayres, Jason]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2021-01-31T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Ten - Thomas

I didn’t see Charlotte for a while after that afternoon in her flat and I didn’t want to.

It wasn’t because I didn’t like her. It was quite the reverse and therein lay the problem. Firstly, I had broken the golden rule of not making major changes in my personal life. Secondly, and more importantly, I had felt genuine feelings towards her and that was dangerous. It felt like a betrayal of Sarah.

This hadn’t happened before. I had slept with Simone and a couple of other girls without a pang of regret, justifying it as maintaining the timeline. Also, I hadn’t cared much about any of them.

When I dwell on this it makes me feel shallow and I start to question my whole philosophy. Is it right to sleep with some girl just because I enjoy sex, on the pretext that it is part of a grand pre-destined scheme? Especially when I change that narrative when it suits?

It isn’t acceptable and I should never have allowed the situation with Charlotte to develop. The most dangerous part was that I liked her so much. If I had been some normal person with no knowledge of the future, I could quite happily have started a relationship with her.

One of the most annoying elements of all this was that if Ben hadn’t come on to the scene, none of this would ever have happened. Not only had he changed things, but he had also dragged me into the changes. Without his interference, nothing would ever have developed between Charlotte and me.

That’s why I had to stay away from her because if I didn’t, that life with Sarah would never happen. Even more importantly, Stacey would never be born.

I did my utmost to avoid Charlotte. I hadn’t given her my number and she didn’t know where I lived. I didn’t go anywhere near The Duke, The Dolly, or The Gloucester Arms which I knew were the three main pubs she drank in. I also avoided the refectory and the student common room at college. This tactic worked well for several weeks.

Then, one day, she cornered me in the library. I was in a narrow area between two shelves right at the back, attempting to navigate the idiosyncrasies of the Dewey Decimal system. Without warning she appeared, crucifix swinging loosely around her neck. She was blocking the only way out so there was no avoiding a confrontation.

“I need to speak to you,” she insisted loudly. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t, I’ve just been busy,” I said, without conviction, backing away straight into the shelf. This caused a large book to fall with a heavy crash onto the wooden flooring in the aisle behind.

“Oi!” shouted Joan, from the desk, not far from where we were standing. “What’s going on over there?”

We heard the creak of her chair as she heaved her ample bulk up and began waddling over to investigate, half-moon glasses pitched on the end of her nose.

“Not right now,” said Charlotte.

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